Finally and "the story of my life" :P
Yap finally I deleted every single post that is about KC,
Well accurately is those post that is related to KC memories.
Can't deny that my heart is breaking when I deleted those post one by one...
And it hurts so badly...
But what past is past.
I can't live in the past forever so that's why I decided to delete everything,
Being guilty feeling regret missing every single past moment....
Well it won't bring me up it will just pull me down.
Shouldn't I just let it go? HELL YEAH :)
I will still miss those memories but not so often anymore,
I will miss it without being guilty or regret and I won't stay.
I will just visit that's it! :)
Well I been living in this world about 15 years++
I used to like myself so much when I was little,
I mean I don't even bother it I don't even take it as a matter,
All this shit doesn't exist before not even for once.
When I started to go to school at first I was so happy,
Even though I don't have friends,
Even though everything seems to be so tough for me,
and yet Im still living happily so damn happy.
But when I started to grow up I learn "compare" this word
I started to compare myself with others and Im a lazy girl,
Im always the one who is behind of others but yet I still don't care.
At the end I still live happily,
I can be happy again so easily.
And when I was form 1 everything changed,
I have to face the fact,
Well I always think that Im not good enough and now even worse.
Im the last and then I realize I been living for so long like about 13 (that time)
I didn't really like myself and then I started to hate myself,
Why am I so useless why am I so dumb why am I so stupid I can't even compare to others!!...
And I started to underestimate myself I felt so depressed,
I can't impress anyone no one.
If you want to torture yourself being guilty is the best way! :D
That year was so .....no words can explain it's like die is much better that living,
(Of coz there is still have happy moment when Im with friends not with studies)
Lately I transfer to another school well okay I still feel bad about myself,
I still see things in a bad way I only see those bad side
and sometimes those bad thing didn't exist for a moment not even a second.
I used to over think things too much so if I see something bad I will think that it's more than that
HELL MUCH MORE
But I can't deny that everything seems to be much better :)
Well okay because, this school, those ppl they are no smart type,
So sometimes I feel good about myself I was like,
WOW even though I didn't put a lot of effort I can still follow their steps,
Maybe Im just not that bad but still that kind of underestimating my own ability thoughts are still there,
But at least Im feeling better.
Not until now and now I changed,
Because everything is just so miserable and I want to be happy again,
I realize one thing if you miss something or you want a thing,
fight for it no matter what it's the price or pain,
Like me I want to be happy back like I was a little kid,
Since I can't be little anymore and why don't us think it in another way?
Why am I so happy when I was a child? Even though everything is tough, miserable..
And then I realize because I was positive :)
Even though things go wrong so damn badly I still think that it is a gift for me,
When I was a baby I don't think that learning how to walk is tough but in fact it's so damn tough,
And yet I still manage to do it that's why we are much happier when we were kid,
The way that we see thing is just such a beautiful gift and when we grow up we lost it,
When you think something is hard because you don't know how it works,
Well do you think that walking is tough now? (are you kidding?!) that's why :)
There's no such thing as tough or hard just you don't know yet :)
I really see how much that I grow when I been though all this shit but yet it's a gift,
And Im really thankful for what I had been though thanks for all this gift :)
Sometimes I think that Im the best just I haven't seen it yet :D
I still remember how often that I cry when I transfer to this school (that time),
But now Im happy and I don't have to learn Chinese anymore!!!!!!!!
And I don't have to be Chinese educated YAHOO!!!
And maybe my English is much better than them now :P
I been dreaming way too much haha XD But it's very possible :33
One day all of my dream will come true !!! just watch me :33
Wasn't that great? :D So sometimes when things didn't go right in fact it did go right,
Just you didn't see it that way that's it! :) In fact everything goes right it's just the matter of time!
30 Dec 2013 @ 4:21 pm ♥ 0 CoMmEnTs ♥
FOLLOW EXCHANGE
LINK EXCHANGE 
So,at first I think that it's so complicated,
And that's why you can c my blog now ;)