
The biggest enemie of all, MYSELF.
No matter how hard I tried, you will always win me. No matter how hard I struggle to get rid of you, you stick to me like we shared the same soul. In fact, indeed. We are the same person after all. My mum told me:" don't let your emotions control you darling." This may seems like an excuse to you or maybe indeed it is. But how can I not let it control me when it is so strong, when it assume all of me? Can infinity control infinity? I always lose to you. No matter how hard I tried not to procrastinate. In the end, procrastination is like my best friend. The worst feeling on earth is not that you failed. Is the taste of regretness. Is that you can't say you did your best, you have done your best and you failed. Yet you did nothing close to hard and best and here you are facing your own failure. You regret that you screwed up and yet the history seems to be on the repeat button. For your god whole damn 18 years. Let's face it and stop being positive. You screwed up big time always, for as long as you have lived. I'm not saying it is a bad thing cause all these ups and downs got you where you are today. Everything happens for a reason. But have you wonder what would it be like if you actually win yourself for once? Have you thought of how does it feels like to do what you want? Have you? You always say the world pull you down. Indeed yeah. But you yourself my friend, pull yourself down so many times as well. No matter how times fly by, deep down you know, you know. Why you want to torture yourself in both ways? I know you want to feel but is enough? I just want to be myself. I don't want to be the best cause being myself is the best of best.
It's okay and that's why sometimes it'ss hell. You yourself is a god damn hell.